Tag: boundaries

Not Everyone Deserves Access to Your World

Protect your heart. Not everyone deserves access to your inner world.

Just because people want to be in your world doesn’t mean you need to give them access. Your world is sacred. And if you want peace in your life, you must be intentional about who gets close to you.

It took me a long time to accept that not everyone gets to be my friend. I learned that lesson through deep hurt from someone I once believed was a lifelong friend. Because we disagreed politically, she said things that made me feel less than human. Her words cut deeply. I cried for days, questioning myself, my character, and my worth. My heart felt shattered.

Then one day, my husband said to me, “Marlene, you’re the nicest person I know. Not everybody gets to be your friend.” And he walked away.

That simple statement changed my life.

It marked the beginning of my journey to release people who had no right to disrupt my peace or tear down my spirit. I understand that people act from their own wounds and beliefs, but when someone repeatedly brings harm into my life, I’ve learned to lovingly but firmly remove their access.

This isn’t about being arrogant or “holier-than-thou.” It’s about honoring who I am. You are you. I am me. We all deserve respect. If mutual respect isn’t present, there’s no obligation to stay connected.

If you know me, you know I’m all about love. Love yourself first. Love others as they are. We don’t have to agree with everyone, but we should treat everyone with dignity. And if you follow Jesus, you know His love is for everyone. He doesn’t discriminate. He loves unconditionally, and He calls us to love the same way.

Some people may test my patience, but even when I don’t particularly like someone’s choices or lifestyle, I choose to love them, pray for them, and wish them well, from a healthy distance.

To keep your soul at peace, be discerning. You don’t need to be loud, rude, or unkind. But you do need boundaries. Protect your heart. Not everyone deserves access to your inner world.

I pray you are always surrounded by the love you deserve. Live in love, peace, honor, and respect.

More Wisdom From Mom: 3 Polite Ways to Say “Get Out of My Space!”

Boundaries aren't rejection -- they're protection.

My mother was one of the kindest, gentlest souls you could ever meet. She wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless, of course, it landed in her space. Then all bets were off.
“Boundaries!” she’d declare with righteous fury.
“That fly invaded my boundaries!”
And with that, she’d launch into a full-on swatting frenzy until the poor bug got the message: You don’t belong here.

These days, we refer to it as “staying in your lane.” But whether you’re talking about bugs or people, the principle is the same: We all need healthy boundaries.

I’ve never been a fan of confrontation. In fact, I avoid it like the plague. But I do appreciate it when people respect both my emotional and physical space.

To be clear, I’m not talking about pushing people away during times of grief or support. When my mom passed, I welcomed every hug and tearful word from friends and family. That kind of closeness is beautiful and healing.

What I’m talking about now are the uninvited intrusions, the ones where people overstep, press too hard, or get too close without invitation. You know the type. They mean well (sometimes), but they show up emotionally or physically where they don’t belong.

So, how do we let people know they’ve crossed a line without sounding rude, standoffish, or confrontational?

Here are three gracious but firm ways to say “Get out of my space” without flipping the table or pulling out the flyswatter.

1. “I appreciate your input, but I need a little space to think through this on my own.”

This phrase works like a charm when someone is crowding you with opinions or “help” you didn’t ask for. It sets a respectful boundary while acknowledging their (often unsolicited) good intentions.

Translation: Please step back and let me breathe.

2. “I’m taking some time for myself right now; can we connect a bit later?”

Perfect for when someone keeps texting, calling, or showing up unannounced. It lets them know you’re not available without shutting the door completely.

Translation: This is me time. Kindly wait your turn.

3. “I’m not comfortable with that.”

Short, sweet, and powerful. You don’t need to explain. You don’t need to justify. Just stand in your truth and let it be known that something has crossed a line.

Translation: That’s a boundary, friend. Step back.

Mom Would Be Proud

My mom taught me that boundaries are not about rejection; they’re about protection. Just like she didn’t hate that fly (well, not personally), she didn’t want it buzzing in her ear or walking across her sandwich.

The same goes for people. We can love them, care about them, and still need space from them sometimes.

What Do You Say?

Do you have a gentle but firm way to tell people to scoot? Have you ever struggled with setting personal boundaries? I’d love to hear your tips, stories, or wisdom that have been passed down from your own family.

Let’s chat in the comments!