My mother was one of the kindest, gentlest souls you could ever meet. She wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless, of course, it landed in her space. Then all bets were off.
“Boundaries!” she’d declare with righteous fury.
“That fly invaded my boundaries!”
And with that, she’d launch into a full-on swatting frenzy until the poor bug got the message: You don’t belong here.
These days, we refer to it as “staying in your lane.” But whether you’re talking about bugs or people, the principle is the same: We all need healthy boundaries.
I’ve never been a fan of confrontation. In fact, I avoid it like the plague. But I do appreciate it when people respect both my emotional and physical space.
To be clear, I’m not talking about pushing people away during times of grief or support. When my mom passed, I welcomed every hug and tearful word from friends and family. That kind of closeness is beautiful and healing.
What I’m talking about now are the uninvited intrusions, the ones where people overstep, press too hard, or get too close without invitation. You know the type. They mean well (sometimes), but they show up emotionally or physically where they don’t belong.
So, how do we let people know they’ve crossed a line without sounding rude, standoffish, or confrontational?
Here are three gracious but firm ways to say “Get out of my space” without flipping the table or pulling out the flyswatter.
1. “I appreciate your input, but I need a little space to think through this on my own.”
This phrase works like a charm when someone is crowding you with opinions or “help” you didn’t ask for. It sets a respectful boundary while acknowledging their (often unsolicited) good intentions.
Translation: Please step back and let me breathe.
2. “I’m taking some time for myself right now; can we connect a bit later?”
Perfect for when someone keeps texting, calling, or showing up unannounced. It lets them know you’re not available without shutting the door completely.
Translation: This is me time. Kindly wait your turn.
3. “I’m not comfortable with that.”
Short, sweet, and powerful. You don’t need to explain. You don’t need to justify. Just stand in your truth and let it be known that something has crossed a line.
Translation: That’s a boundary, friend. Step back.
Mom Would Be Proud
My mom taught me that boundaries are not about rejection; they’re about protection. Just like she didn’t hate that fly (well, not personally), she didn’t want it buzzing in her ear or walking across her sandwich.
The same goes for people. We can love them, care about them, and still need space from them sometimes.
What Do You Say?
Do you have a gentle but firm way to tell people to scoot? Have you ever struggled with setting personal boundaries? I’d love to hear your tips, stories, or wisdom that have been passed down from your own family.
Let’s chat in the comments!
Voice of Hope by Marlene 